I Am Not A Goat

I guess it's my turn for an introduction. I'll start out by being honest; I find General Hospital so boring now a days that I haven't watched a full episode in about a month. I've kept to my Sam scenes only, which let me tell you, are few and far between. So feel special; I'll be viewing full episodes again starting Monday. If you've found this blog through D&T, TH, the Rant, or any other random General Hospital or Soap board out there, then you probably already know who I am. I'm Kelli, though in the online GH world, I'm known as 'forevergh13'. Now that I think about it, it's a little disappointing that I don't have any cool nicknames like the other two. Sigh. I guess I'll get over it. Before I launch into my GH status, I think I need a disclaimer. I'm crude, blunt, and more often than not, offensive. We're not writing this to be nice to everybody and make everybody happy though. I'll try not to personally attack you and you try not to take my attacks personal. Cool? Okay then.

As you can probably tell, I'm a SamFF and a total KeMo lover. So all you whore fans (you know who you are), if you can't stand all the Sam love, then go find a goat and fuck it. I've watched every single Sam scene from the moment she pretended to hang herself in jail, knocked the guard out, and talked all cutesy with the dog (which, for all you GH noobs out there, was Sam's first scene).

I'll admit, I'm a JaSam fan second. But in all honesty, I can get into any Sam pairing. There are times I'd love to see Jax and Sam have another go (because oh my, Ingo is looking good). And I wasn't a HUGE fan of Sonny and Sam but I loved it when they became friends later. And I was and am a LuSam fan as well. (See, this isn't ALL about JaSam!)

We'll start with the bitches of GH (both good and bad). Other than Sam, Maxie is another favorite of mine. She is, unfortunately, more of a hit or miss. Kirsten Storms is fabulous in the role though and I admit that I tend to be biased when I like the actor or actress. Carly Corinthos Jacks is definitely one of my favorites, as is Laura Wright. She's simply amazing and gorgeous.

My in between girls vary. I'm not a huge Claudia fan, although I started out liking her a lot more than I thought I would. I had high hopes for the ClauSon relationship and TPTB wrote her into a corner. It was very disappointing. On another note, I'm basically in love with (not really but sort of) Sarah Brown, so that evens it out.

As for my not so favorite characters, I think they're pretty obvious. I'm not a Kate fan. She is and always has been pointless and I'd be ecstatic if the rumors of her demise are true. Although JMB is gorgeous, if I have to hear Lulu shriek about nothing and yada yada yada one more time, I'm going to drink a gallon of bleach. And Snobin Robin could have disappeared in that snow storm back in January and I wouldn't have minded one bit.

And I am as far from an Elizabeth Webber fan as possible. I could rant about her all day, but I'm sure you'll hear plenty of that from me later.

As for the men of GH, I'm not sure I've too many that I don't like. Jason Morgan is an on again off again thing for me. I love him with Sam and that's about it (occasionally with Carly too). Sonny's too easy to make fun of so I tend to do that a lot, although when Maurice is on, man is he on. I adore Ric (both Lansing and Hearst for that matter) and hope that they intend to keep him around. That character is such a skeaze but the actor is so fantastic that it's damn fun to watch.

I'm not a big Lucky fan at all. In fact, I said earlier to the other girls that in my opinion, Lucky Spencer was born without his balls. But I'm sure Greg Vaughan's are big enough for the both of them. *fans self* I'd love to grab Greg's ass some day. I bet it's nice and squishy. Patrick is a total favorite of mine. My fantasy couple is Patrick and Sam. Ever since their banter in the hospital when he first came on back in 2005, I've wanted to see what could come of them. Scrubs bore the living hell out of me anyway. Who needs them? And lastly, I lay claim over Brandon Barash when he's playing psychotic Johnny. Because damn, that shit is hot. I've been waiting for JoMax for awhile and I'm just glad I got some decent scenes out of it before they go back to Spixie full force.

I want to do a villain corner like Beeg did too, just because I'm obsessive about falling for GH's villains. I absolutely adore Little Antz (Anthony Zacchara) and was completely heartbroken when they took him off screen. I'll be lobbying for him to come back because he's so good with comedic relief.

Jerry Jax is up there too. I like him half the time and half the time I don't. I like the badass "Mr. Craig" side of him compared to the "Jerry Jax: brother of Jasper and lover of Alexis" side. I waited for a damn long time to see them do more Sam/Jerry interaction. Their chemistry together during the Metro Court Hostage Crisis was off the charts and I knew it'd be good. On top of that, I'm slightly more than in love with Sebastian Roche. I wish he'd come back full time and I fully intend to start a "Bring Back Jerry" compaign when he's gone again.

And as much as I love Jerry, absolutely no villain in all of GH history could compare to Manny Ruiz. I'm obsessed with him about as much as he was with Sam. He was one of my favorite storylines ever. And if it would get Robert back, I'd get down on my knees in front of Bob Guza himself.

Okay, now that I've talked for..ever, I'll wrap it up. I know, it takes an acquired taste to like me, so I won't be too incredibly offended if you don't. No worries- Lewd's up next and you're going to adore her.